The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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