I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
