shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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