Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
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She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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