I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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