the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
