they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
