omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
