She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
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Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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