So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
