Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
