College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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