Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize