You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
