yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
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And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
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I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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