Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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