this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
