ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
