i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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