I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I want to stick my p in your. b.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
