i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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