At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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