i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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