If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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