I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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