No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
