I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
This couple is walking their pig around campus
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
