the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Mom said you looked used
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
