Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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