You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
