I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
