He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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