I feel great
I just peed on a car
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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