We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
