first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
In other news, I just burned my penis
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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