mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize