Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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