Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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