if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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