Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
