Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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