This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
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I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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