I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
