i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
