ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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