you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
third nipple confirmed
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
