I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
