when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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