i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
