I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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