i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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