i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
