I heard we made out
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize