took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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