just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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