apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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