Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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