I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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