community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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