normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
