Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
