it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize