Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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