In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
please don't ironically join a cult
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