If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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