He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
