sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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