I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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