I accidentally burped into my bong.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
